Sex – Female
Age – 19
Location – Brisbane, Australia
I was just wondering, how do I know if what I am feeling for my boyfriend is love? He has told me he loves me but I don’t think that I should say it back to him until I really know that I love him. So how do I know if what I feel is love? Please help me.
Firstly before I give you my humble thoughts, I just wanted to commend you for not saying the words ‘I love you’ just because your boyfriend has said it to you. Many girls and boys these days tend to say it to their partners out of obligation, but you obviously have a good head on your shoulders. So yes, for that, I say well done.
Love is not unreasonable and it is definitely not blind. When it is real love it is pure. When you are in perfect harmony with the person that you say you love then that is real love. Love allows you to be yourself, and takes into consideration that you are your own person, and in turn permits you to grow into a great someone. True, pure, unconditional love is faithful in all aspects, yes that’s right, ALL ASPECTS, not sum. Love promotes selflessness and has you wanting to make the other person happy, BUT NOT AT THE COST OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS!
The best way to know if what you and your partner have is real is not during your lovey dovey moments, but during the disagreements and the hard times. If during a fight he or you start to use unnecessary name calling and find yourselves treating total strangers better than each other, then that’s when you know that something is just not right because it is through the hard times that LOVE SHOULD SHINE THE BRIGHTEST! It is possible to disagree with respect! When you are able to disagree with respect, it is then you are able to say, IT IS LOVE!
Lust allows you to be physically controlled and pulled towards your partner. Everything about your relationship is average, and when you look into the history of your relationship, the only good times you have, are behind closed doors.
Passion is uncontrollable. It allows one to be headstrong, unreasonable, and makes your partner an IDOL in your eyes, where everything about you is all about them. You need to like the same music they like; you need to be seen having fun watching the rugby when in reality you hate it and think its boring or you just need to be where they are and so forth. Passion is basically obsession.
Always remember that Love HONORS, RESPECTS and CHERISHES YOU under ALL circumstances.