Am I really in love?


Sex – Female

Age – 19

Location – Brisbane, Australia


I was just wondering, how do I know if what I am feeling for my boyfriend is love? He has told me he loves me but I don’t think that I should say it back to him until I really know that I love him. So how do I know if what I feel is love? Please help me.




Firstly before I give you my humble thoughts, I just wanted to commend you for not saying the words ‘I love you’ just because your boyfriend has said it to you. Many girls and boys these days tend to say it to their partners out of obligation, but you obviously have a good head on your shoulders. So yes, for that, I say well done.

Love is not unreasonable and it is definitely not blind. When it is real love it is pure. When you are in perfect harmony with the person that you say you love then that is real love. Love allows you to be yourself, and takes into consideration that you are your own person, and in turn permits you to grow into a great someone. True, pure, unconditional love is faithful in all aspects, yes that’s right, ALL ASPECTS, not sum. Love promotes selflessness and has you wanting to make the other person happy, BUT NOT AT THE COST OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS!

The best way to know if what you and your partner have is real is not during your lovey dovey moments, but during the disagreements and the hard times. If during a fight he or you start to use unnecessary name calling and find yourselves treating total strangers better than each other, then that’s when you know that something is just not right because it is through the hard times that LOVE SHOULD SHINE THE BRIGHTEST! It is possible to disagree with respect! When you are able to disagree with respect, it is then you are able to say, IT IS LOVE!

Lust allows you to be physically controlled and pulled towards your partner. Everything about your relationship is average, and when you look into the history of your relationship, the only good times you have, are behind closed doors.

Passion is uncontrollable. It allows one to be headstrong, unreasonable, and makes your partner an IDOL in your eyes, where everything about you is all about them. You need to like the same music they like; you need to be seen having fun watching the rugby when in reality you hate it and think its boring or you just need to be where they are and so forth. Passion is basically obsession.

Always remember that Love HONORS, RESPECTS and CHERISHES YOU under ALL circumstances.

With Love from Sia

0 thoughts on “Am I really in love?

  1. How does one know that the lerve thang is in the house? That it’s real? That it’s arrived and home to stay? Well, some would say it’s a ‘feel’ thang, and as I acknowledge Sia, I’m not referring here to the ‘warm fuzzy’.. it’s that definable or pivotable moment when as they say the proverbial ‘click’ or ‘light bulb’ goes on, it’s when deep down in your soul, you just know, that you know that you know! But, let me just say often times, that definable moment is often at the very end or is brought about consequentially by the grind as Sia’s mentioned, that two people have been through.

    Love is fast becoming, well, it is anyway in these times a throw away term. A cliche. A word that is carelessly flung coz of the heat of the moment, or just coz at that exact spot, moment, time everythang seems to be JR (just right). While I am not discounting the fact that yes, there are genuine moments when one is overwhelmed and feel compelled to express their feelings in like manner, the thang is, those genuine moments are rare. We live in a disposable, fast food (pardon the expression) or ‘take away’ lifestyle.

    If you’re a deep person and you value the substance of your feelings, of what you have or what you would like to have in or with each other, then yes, I feel it’s best to be true to yourself and speak thus. I am not blind to the fact that as I write this, it’s easier said then done. So perhaps, pick your moment(s). And have a D & M (deep and meaningful) with each other and let your man know where you is comin from and wot you all about as far as the love thang is concerned. Even better, put it on the table from the git go so each other, or in this case, your man is crystal where is you from with that. By doing that, he knows, the air is like pure and clean and you don’t or keep finding yourself in a position where you have or feel obligated to say the four letter ‘L’ word just coz he said it. Some woman may pull back from this suggestion in fear they’ll ‘drive him away with a D&M’.. Baby girl, lemme say, that’s when you know that wot you got is or ain’t is. If he be true and real and like, wanna git down with you for life, then hell yeah he’ll understand. Also factor into this, that such thangs such as ‘feeling and knowing when love is true’ and ‘communicating it in sucha way that your man will know, accept and understand’ is a ‘it takes time’ kinda thang… In some of those few and rare cases, it’s taken in asap, but more often then not, it’s an effort that needs to be plied as long as it takes till it ‘comes home’ or ‘sinks in.’

    Hold on to what you have, that being, your integrity and the whole of your own self as a woman. Don’t trade it for one night just coz the brother been putting the pressure on you to somehow git down and ‘consumate’ your lerve.. If you not in it, den hell no don’t do it…

    One thang I’ll say, and it’s worth while noting is be watchful. If the brother is laying the stones on you and showering with gifts then just be aware those, or that generousity may have a price tag attached to it if you feelin me. Don’t git me wrong, it’s a good thang, but you know wot I mean.

    My two cents worth. Enjoyed the topic and Sia’s P.O.V (point of view).

    Ia manuia



  2. well i personally ‘gag’ at the thought of the ‘L’ word ha-ha but thats simply because i have ‘seen’ it more than experiencing wait..that came out wrong LOL..

    ..anyways is more a journey than a feeling. . I applaud you for being pateint in your relationship and being aware of the possible outcomes in any step you decide to take.

    all n all it was a great insight of ya thoughts – hope all goes well.


  3. well sis now i know ur burdens but ill just give u an advice…..sis if u kno that ur boyfriend is truly love you by saying “I LOVE YOU” den it is for u to sit n think wat will be your answer to wat he been say to you……just go ahead and say “YOU TOO”…..

  4. If u were in love.. u’d know… it’s when u feel obsessed with the person lol well sort of.. it’s when u know that u would do almost anything to protect them.. and anything to be with them every second of the day…
    I reckon if u were in love u wouldn’t have had to ask

  5. love is a meaningful word, i dnt think ur boyfriend even knows how to spell the word love,gooo on ya dnt say i love u to no1 unless u knw the meaning of love. ai o le puppy love lae totonu lana pocket,another thing is u dnt find love @ 19 years of age,ur only just come out of ur nappies, and prob still shiting yellow ,as u get older u will relise thru life wat love is,how love is,and wen it TRUE LOVE, relax take a trip,aua le faapopole fua le mafaufau, is only PUPPY LOVE lol, gosh i fort only palagi did dis hahahahhahhahhaha malo samoa

  6. Hey Babes

    well just wanted to say that girl i know how you feel, my boyfriend say it to me all the time but i really dont know if i should say it back, we sometimes have arguements about it, but hey because we have been together for about 6 months and i have learnt that there was something that i had to learn about him to make me love him, so now everytime i talk to him after he calls me i always say i love you to him because you never know what can happen tomarrow and its too late to say it so my advice is to really make an effort to say it…well i hope that helped you babes

    have a blessed day ok

  7. [[WeLL iF yOu tHinK tHat yOu dOnT LOVE HiM tHeN juSt TeLL hiM yOur NoT READY]]
    iT bEttEr tHeN letting HiM gETtiN piSSed oFF at YOu……but Just say it straight………
    PEACE=mantha ; D

  8. Love is when you care about him more than yourself..

    in the worlds of my lovely 6 year old niece:
    “love is about hugs and kisses and a warm feelin inside”


    so if you feelin it then cheers mate..
    you’re in love..

  9. Cool topic!
    I know a mother and a daughter who don’t believe in ‘LOVE’, they feel it’s just ANOTHER word.
    The mother is a divorced mum raising her children on her own ..& her daughter has a child of her own & has been in and out of a number of relationships since a young age.

    I don’t mean to disrespect the single mothers out there.. I’m very close with this mother and daughter. I just have strong opinions about ‘LOVE’. I believe God created ‘LOVE’. God IS Love!
    I think it’s beautiful once you experience it & that it’s NOT just another word you throw around.

    Please forgive me if my thoughts offended anyone.

    God bless!

  10. heyy..Real love is wen ya boyfriend calls u but not u callin him everytym aye..I wanna tel u dat if ur bouyfrien loves u dat much he will cum straight to ya house n talk 2 ya parents about ya realationship wif him n he doesn’t force u in tah anyfing k…hope dat helps u but Take care n God Bless

  11. *chucks her lima sene in da basket*

    i always tell mahself ” im too young to even no waht love mean” ha! weird but i think its true. i dont understand how guys can jus say it out all da time. when my boyfriend told me he loved me..i’d say it right back to him. how do u know? and he couldnt even answer that! so i knew from that point he was jus full of bullsiki! dont get me wrong not all guys are like dis! maybe i jus attract da weirdo’s arghhh! i suggest if u cant tell them why u actually alofa to da person den dont say it at all. i get mah thrills more when a guys says ” i like you ” then ” i love you ” oh koshh poor me!!!!

    *chucks in her other lima sene in da basket..there we go 10c for ya’ll today 😉

  12. you mean there’s a process to it all? I figured girls just feel at my feet when I smiled…almost like how the boys do when Tiger grins..

    hahahah! cmon now Dre! you know what I mean though uce! playa playa!

    ..great read tho Sia! a nyse retort to an otherwise complex question w/ a variety of answers…


  13. If i may i would lyk to add my SENEz please..

    LOVE has become such an important word nowadays.. pending on how u use it.. u c..LOVE, well believe it or not, has so much context to it if u were to disect it and analyse..

    ur confusing yourself with what u feel and wat u think..yes LOVE isnt just 1 is EMOTIONS..that coincides with both your brain AND ur heart..kindah lyka tag know how ppl usually say to you..”just go with what u feel..follow your heart”..and when you hear that your lyk ohhhhhh yep ok but then 3 minutes later ur more confused than u were in the

    Your having a hard time tryna get ur brain AND your heart to see..LOVE is GOD..”so many things in just that one word alone “GOD”..but even GOD himself has his “tag team’ that are insync..”GOD..SON..HOLY SPIRIT”..If theyre not connected things would be confusing..but when connected ..things are flowing like they should do..

    So I guess what im sayin is that if u feel ur in LOVE..then your heart AND your mind would both be insync..connected..and if they are connected..your heart AND mind would be at PEACE..when peace sets in with both..Its telling u..”hey..ur ready..this is LOVE coz ur not afraid..”
    LOVE isnt a may have been told that..LOVE doesnt when u start doubting then obviously your mind and heart are not in the same place..

    Some people are afraid of not finding LOVE..sometimes finding themselves rushing into things blindly..ending up setting themselves up for a fall..and sometimes..there are people that do rush into things where grows..

    So with that being said..lets recap..

    Heart and mind should be at peace..:D..

    XXoxxxoxoxxoo..hope things work out for you..ROLARxo

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