If You Feel Like A Jerk, Then…

I feel like such a jerk.

Like most of us, I enjoy hang’n out in the village, 1Samoana, stroll’n around on my finger tips goin’ from faleo’o to faleo’o and visiting with fellow natives, and participating and reading-in on group discussions–it’s my rest and relaxation (R&R) time.  Most days, I go to work, I’m home by evening, check-in with the family, help out with household chores, help ready events for our church, and after family business is done, and if I’m not too exhausted, I make time for friends at 1Samoana.

Recently, I took time out for my usual ‘R&R’ fix at 1Samoana, and on this day I had more chores than usual to do.  I figured, “Oh, what the heck, I can do two things at one time,” and in-between my mother reminding me to take out the recycling, my father reminding me to take the trash out for pick-up, taking care of house’s plumbing problems so that we don’t have to call a real plumber (only cause we can’t afford their professional services), and the other extra chores, I was on and off at the group discussion, “I Spy With My Fob Eyes.”  This discussion appeals to me because, like most guys, it includes visuals, followed by the clever and hilarious commentary.  Aside from all the visceral laughs I get out of this, and I know this makes no sense, but I especially love how stupid I feel.  I’ve discovered that the long journey just before the light goes on in the brain (the light that leaves you saying to yourself, “Oh!  That’s what’s goin’ on, that’s how it works!”), is the feeling stupid.

The following Sunday, I woke up to see my mother taking out the recycle, my sister picking out my father’s suit for Sunday service, my father taking out the garbage, basically they were picking up the chores I had forgotten about because I was online.  No one said anything to me, we all just went about the morning and headed out for service, but I felt like crap; I kept reliving the nite before and how I was saying, “…yeah, okay, I’ll take care of it (while I’m online)…”  After morning service, my father said, “Come sit down, I want to talk to you.”

What he said was this (broken English translation): “…I hear you on the intanet when you suppose to take care of the house, I hear you on the phone when you with us (family and church events), I hear you yell to your sister when you fix the car.  Something very wrong wif you.  I hear the devil is coming into this house…”

Translation of my Father’s wisdom: Be present!  Stop dividing your family time.  When you are with your family, be there, don’t be on the phone texting or conversating with friends, don’t be online B.S.ing with your friends, and don’t let your mind wander off into some other la-la land.  When you are with your family give them your undivided attention.  When you are not busy with your family, then that’s the time for friends.  When you are with your family, be present!  Manage your time wisely, prioritize accordingly.

Translation of a Son’s wisdom: If you feel like a jerk, then it may be because you have been acting like one.  The good news is, there’s always a moment for redemption.

0 thoughts on “If You Feel Like A Jerk, Then…

  1. Kalofa e bro, no wonder you be losing. LMAOOOO But I know how you feel. My dad isn’t around so my mom’s the one who’s always giving her speeches and anyway, dad’s right. Family first. Give them your full attention when your with them. Do your R&R after work and feau. You’ll have less online time, but that’s ok! You always lose anyway. LMAOOOO Love you bro!

  2. Awwww bro!… luv this! hahahaha
    I soooo hate that , when my dad says… “Come & sit down I want to talk to you”…

    Sooo many times my conversations with my dad start like this hehehehe… but I’ve learnt over the years how precious time can be…especially now!
    so I’ve learnt that parents pleasure comes our own…. LMAO and it will always be that way… Nice one bro Much Luv!!!

  3. *cracks up laughing @ fobbiness*
    ok was supposed to say
    So I’ve learnt that our parents pleasure comes BEFORE our own…

    EH! LOL

  4. ha-ha loved it.

    yeahh same here with the ”come sit here i want to talk to you” talk lol then its the “aua e ata” ..lol – when they give you that reality check talk..yeahhh we feel real stupid. I hate it when mum brings it up as a random thing for her to continue yelling at me..
    “you know why you forgot to sweep the floor…its because too much internet” lol..

    Its alright..just blame HGG if you get another lecture lol..the more lectures we get..then thats when we know HGG is doing a great job with 1samoana ha-ha

  5. Angel, cherryk,and jayfoo:

    Thank you for acknowledging that WE ALL GET THE LECTURE! (*LMFAO*)…. My mom normally chimes in to extend the speech, but I think she saw that I felt bad about myself, I guess Moms know when to egg it on, and when not to; make no mistake, our parents (fa’aSamoa) strategically plan on how to turn-up the heat of guilt!

    What more can I say,…”Family First,” just like Angel said. Alofas…

  6. Nice one Uso… well you know there are THE days when you like, totally blah and you just drift and do your own thang.. now in the general scheme of thangs and how our ‘duty’ orientated psyche works, jus’ coz it’s one of those days when we feel like letting our manly hair down (daz if the ulu is not po’o) there’s that certain lil voice sitting … in the corner.. . at the back of your mind… waving the proverbial finger atcha, like, or more like… sangin… “someone is in troubleeeeee, someone is in troubleeeeeeeeeee” hahahahahahahahahaha!!

    I hear you on the run of thangs, but sometimes I feel that we need a vacation from ourselves.. hmm.. makes sense?!

    In my case, back in the days, we didn’t have the ‘come sit I want to talk to you’ … Instead, it was like a 7th sense, that you know, to be near a door coz if I saw my dad walking towards me in a particular fashion, it ain’t forra father and son chit chat session ova a ipu koko if you dig wot I mean ;o)

    Enjoyed the read, so yes, we do the feaus, but no matter how hardcore we are at doin wot we do day in and day out, there’s always that occasional slip or trip over, so if any thang, before the ‘come and sit down I wanna talk to you’ comes a visitin’ just have a few quiet words with your own self and put yourself on track first :o)

    Ia manuia



  7. Dre: Loved what you said about “…sometimes I feel that we need a vacation from ourselves..” That makes a LOT OF SENSE! Which is exactly how I got myself into trouble. As for the “proverbial finger”, not long ago it used to be the “proverbial fusipa’u” (LOL), I guess it’s similar to the way you’ve learned to read your Dad’s body language (LOL). Like you said, I need to learn to have a few quiet words to me-self!

    Of course, like Jayfoo suggests, I could always blame on HGG–(LMFAO)! Ia manuia lava!

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