After many years of being the perfect daughter of what seemed to be the perfect family, I decided to take on a new life that would brand me as the worst daughter from the not so perfect family.
Taking on this new role did feel a little odd but at the same time it fit so well. It was the morning of my final exam and I had this strange feeling that what ever was going to happen was going to changed everything… but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Instead of preparing myself for the exam my mind was racing with other things, things that had nothing to do with a finance examination.
I arrived at my exam late which was a bad start, my heart pumping (from running up the damn stairs) and my mind all jumbled. Not the right mindset to be in for any exam, I struggled and panicked so bad that I went blank. From doing so many exams nearly all my life, this was the first time I had ever felt like crying and giving up. Time was up and so I thought that the feeling of not knowing what was going to happen that day was because I was going to fail and re-do the class again.
WRONG! Well it sort of was… but instead of coming home from school alone I had my mother with me. Something has been on mind for so long and the train ride home could not have been the most right time to talk with her. I love my mother so much but we clash a lot. I told her of my plans to leave home. She didn’t take it so well but she knew why I wanted to. We negotiated how this should work but never came to an agreement. 2 days later, I had my stuff packed and ready to go. It was hard but more so awkward. Doing something that I never thought I would have the will to do but I know deep down it was for the best. My mother tried to reason with me but I fought through my tears and whispered ‘bye mum, I love you’. Without even saying anything to my father or my beautiful baby brother I walked out.
A cold adrenalin rush filled my body. I was still and the only thing moving were the tears down my face. It was then that I knew everything was going to be different. The coming of realisation for my family would come later and I can only expect the hardship and struggle that awaits in my near future.