Life’s Imitations

She called to say, “…hey, me and Dad are off to the side of the road with a flat tire at 22nd Ave. South!…Please, come and fix it!”  I told her, “I’m on my way!”  Told the Boss Man, gotta go!  Take it or leave it, I have to get to my Father.

Key in ignition, set it in reverse, car in drive, and drove to my destination.  The whole (15 minutes) way there my mind was racing!  I thought to myself, “…how many times have I taught this girl ‘how-to’ change a flat, how many times have I taught this girl how to check the oil!!!…”  Naturally, when I pulled up to my sister and Father, I arrived with thoughts in mind, aside from my auto-ready to replace the flat tire.

In the midst changing out the flat for the spare, I vented my thoughts out loud!  Naturally, I’m talking (yelling) and unscrewing and screwing-in bolts, and removing the flat, and placing the spare in!  I go on and on and on, and then I looked up at my sister, and what I saw broke my heart.

My little sister is beautiful, she has almond shaped eyes, long curly black hair (she gets that from our Father), tall (6-foot) and slender, her personality is humorous, she’s loving and caring, if she inflicts emotional heartache, it is entirely unintentional!!!  She is an honorable friend that you and I would be blessed by our God to have on our side!  Certainly, she is a trouble-maker, but harmless, she causes trouble from boredom, nothing more than that, she’s more than I can handle, but she ‘completes me.’  I know, it’s corny, but as the ‘obedient child,’ she does what I would never dare to do: ‘challenge life as I (perhaps, we) know it!’

What I saw broke my heart.  Her almond eyes filled with water, she spoke not, but what I heard was, “…I called you because we needed help, and this is what I get…I am doing my best!  You are my ‘best’!!!…”  I realized then, that I am part of the problem.  I should’ve taught my sister by letting her change the flat, instead of my changing the flat and talking to her about ‘how-to’ change the flat!  I’m a big part of the problem because ‘protection’ does not guarantee ‘empowerment’ of her being!

My dearest sis, my parents’ favorite, I am the problem.  I will do better in teaching you how to “Be more than you are!”

0 thoughts on “Life’s Imitations

  1. lol go big brother!!!! and lil sis relationships!!

    we call you, cos we know you’ll come…no matter what 🙂

    in time she’ll have it all under control…that will be a good/sad day

    good – that she’s independant and you trust that she can take care of herself

    sad – no more phone calls, feeling needed by baby sister!

    Enjoy ur relationship the way it is, while you can


  2. ahhhhhhh bro. you should enjoy those moments with your sister. there comes a time that she will never call you for anything and then what? so enjoy it now while you can lol…. 🙂 🙂

  3. awww how cute.. change my tire too lol. no i know what you mean, i too am the oldest in my family and i have this bad habbit of reacting a lil too early at these sorta situations. Then it is later on when i realise how ‘slack’ i was to my brother or especially my sister.
    I do love them both but i forget that i am the ‘big sis’ who they call for help when they need it. Not the sis who they have to think twice about calling because they know all im gonna do is raaaaaahhhh lol.

  4. Awwww bro, Im in the same boat as you! Im the 2nd oldest of 4, and for the last 4 years its just been n my baby sis. She’s exactly the same! I have taught her everything she knows (even changing the tyre! LOL), @ work and @ home, but when its time for her to do it she stuffs up! LOL I’ve gotten so used to her doing this that I do things for her, cos I dont want to take the risk she’ll stuff it up again! LOL
    Now that Im leaving home for a few years moving overseas, these last few weeks have been emotional, as I wont be here to do things for her, or fix the tyre, or remind her about stuff…
    So enjoy your time teaching her these things, Im glad you realised what you were doing now, so u can work on it… as for me I realised too late, and now Im leaving her on her own..

  5. Okay, okay, okay, Women of 1Samoana: I hear you all loud and clear!

    First of all, I did apologize to my sister for raising my voice. Secondly, I further explained to her that I want her to be able to protect herself, and the only way that I can be assured of that is for her to demonstrate independence. For example, if she gets a flat tire, she doesn’t need to rely on a stranger (who might be a psycho!) to fix it, she can fix it herself and drive on.

    More importantly, I need her to be capable, I need her to be my equal because then I can move on with my life without worrying about her–at least, the things that she can control. She’s beautiful, but like most teens, she’s in the ‘fia poko’ stage of life, and I believe that if I truly love my sister, I will teach her to be strong, to teach her to rely on her ability to ‘figure-it-out’ on her own. Quit frankly, I believe that I’m helping her to discover a sense of accomplishment!

    I appreciate your compassion regarding the stresses of being the ‘older’ and therefore the responsible person; ’cause when things go wrong, and they do, our parents start and end with the oldest child!

    KellyD, Sega, jayfoo, cherryk: Fa’afetai tele lava mo le alofa!!! To all our sisters of 1Samoana, be empowered, enjoy the discovery of accomplishment that normally would be reserved for us guys, or older brother. I do want my sister to call me, but I would prefer she call me to say, “Guess what! I changed my own flat tire…”

  6. Brava Victa :o)

    Malo uso manaia lau saunoaga, malie fo’i le fa’alogologo atu.

    Yeah I hear you. When we’re in the moment, we dont really think about that ‘far ahead time’ when we part ways and then it’s like, full on can’t help but fink and worry and even miss our younger sibling :o)

    But a valid point in there it is, that being independence and character building.. And I guess, being the ‘elder’ one in the equation we let our frustration get the better of us, and that’s only natural.. Now, if say, you have two younger ones that look up to you, then maybe, perhaps by the time you part ways with the one next to you, your sight would be much further over the horizons for when the next young un’ takes his/her turn at the ‘i need your help’ plate :o)

    Malo lava uso

    Ia manuia



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