How do you become to be in a long distance relationship? Does it start off as one or does it become one later in the relationship? You know someone who has been in one, is in one, or you yourself who was in one or is in one now. This isn’t about all those who are in one, or was in one, but this is about myself who is in one now.
When Kuanti and I first, I guess you can say “got togther,” I fell in love with him from the start. He made it hard for me not to fall in love with him. He made me laugh like no other. And having a sense of humor is a big turn on for me. He isn’t only funny but real smart as well and I can’t stand dumb brutes LOL. We would spend every minute with other. He became my partner in crime, and my best friend.
When we found out that he had to leave for a family emergency, I was heart broken. I was heart broken because he was going to leave me. We were going to be oceans apart. I wanted so much to tell him, “Please don’t go. Please don’t leave me. Stay.” But that would’ve made me selfish. That would’ve made me seem like I didn’t care about his family when in fact, I love them to death. So he went. He left.
All I could think of was how many other girls out there that are so much more beautiful than me. That he was soon going to forget me. That he would find someone else and the last night I saw him, was truly the last time I would see him as mine. I thought of how he would meet up with old girlfriends, maybe rekindle what they once had. Let me tell you, when Kuanti first left, I thought of a lot things or reasons why we’d be no more. But not once, did I ever tell him, or anyone how I felt about him being gone. When asked, I shrugged. I pretended not to care. In fact, I hated that he was far away. I just wanted him home already.
When he left, I didn’t hear from him until about a week later. We would call each other as much as we could and talked forever. Then phone calls, were less and it was more of emails, or leaving each other comments or sending messages through MySpace and One Samoana. I remember thinking, how sad is this? But it was the only way we could communicate with each other. As I was in Amerika Samoa, he was in Texas. Then from Texas, he went to Virginia, and I’m still in Amerika Samoa.
From one month to two, then three months, now 7 months. All I had left of him, was his blue shirt, and a framed picture of us. As you’re reading this, it seems like I’m telling a story of a loved one who has passed. No, but because of the distance between us, it seems more like we’re on two different planets. Please excuse me if it this seems depressing, but I promise you it does get better.
Being apart for the time that we are, I have to admit, this long distance is killing me. But all that we have gone through together, our love surpasses it all. We have seen our fair share of ups and downs, tears and laughter, screams and excitement. We have been through it all. Although I have to admit that I did second guess him more times than I can count. I mean, being so far apart from each other, I use to wonder if all that he said to me was really true. Was he playing me for a fool, or did he really mean all that he said to me? Everytime he said “I love you”, and “I miss you,” I use to think was he saying it just because I was saying it, and he was actually with someone else, or was he really telling me the truth? But when you’re in a long distance relationship, you find yourself second guessing. You can’t help it. So you ask yourself, “How do I know that he’s being true? How do I know that really does love me and is waiting for me?” For me, I just know. I cannot explain to you how. I’m just letting you know that I know. That I feel it. And as much as I love him, I know that he loves me too.
This long distance relationship is just another test for us. For not only Kuanti and I, but for all those who are going through it now. You love him or her, and feel that nothing can break what you have for each other. For Kuanti and I, it has been very hard. I will not suggest, nor recommend long distance relationships to anyone. Because not being with the one you love so much for so long, is the hardest thing anyone can do. There are always two sides to a coin and long distance relationship are just the same. It can make your love stronger or it can break it. For us, it has made it stronger than ever. And with each day, it gets stronger.
It will be another 3 1/2 months until I see his dorky smile again *smiles* and I cannot wait to see my burrito *laughs*.